Darling Devil Doll: Cracker Jack

(Theme Song)

*Singing*

NiNi
Nana
Nina
The Darling Devil Doll

She's NiNi
She's Nana
She's Nina
She's the Darling Devil Doll

With her sleek black dress and her inky black hair, she's a classy sort of gal
With her little black shoes and stockings white she dances like a dream,

She's NiNi
She's Nana
She's Nina
She's the Darling Devil Doll

*whispering*
Her inky claws that dissolve into her white paint arms is a tad creepie though

*Singing*

She's the Darling Devil Doll
With her shark like eyes she's watching us,
She's just the cute-ust
So give the devil her due,
or she'll come after you

She's the Darling Devil Doll!


 

 -Today's Episode-

 Cracker Jack:

 A melodeous voice echose over the treeline emanating from a humble little village by the river, built in the shadow of a lumber mill. Musical nots flitter and fade into the air from the town's tavern drawing the attention of a giant figure in the woods. A round black bomb for a head with painted on white oval eyes turns above the tree lines. Long plaid sleeved arms and four fingered yellow gloved hands push trees aside as the twenty foot giant turns. With his relativly short jeans covered legs and over sized brown shoe feet he makes his way towards the town following the dancing music notes, for among the musical instruments there is a beautiful voice.

  "Oh ho ho," says the giant despite the lack of a mouth, holding his abdomen with both his hands, "Ah, the sweet, sweet voice of Miss Nana Nina the tavern singer, oh ho ho, hmmm, she will be...."

  The giant stops and looks to the sky, "So I am French Canadian?"

  He looks down at his body, "Hold on,"

  He feels his head with his hands and pinches the fuse string, "Hold on, Hold on...is this...a Cracker Jack?"

  He manifests from the air a guide book, "Says here, Cracker Jacks cannot speak, big mindless explosive packed robots that just look like toony lumber jacks."

 He crosses his arms, "So I should just attack the town then, and stop talking."

 *Follow your script*

  "No," says the giant, "I the Great Change-O do absolutelty NOT act out of character, I say we start this over, do some re-writes."

 He turns and walks to where he started and vanishes through the trees and rocks as though they were holograms.

 -Meanwhile-

  A wooden tavern filled with Golden Age cartoon animal people dressed up in a mix of finery and lumber jack clothes, including a man and his wife sitting together who are both dressed as lumber jacks and have logs for heads and wooden bodies, on stage the Darling Devil Doll NiNi Nana Nina is swishing her dress back and forth humming to the piano being played by a hippo in a tuxedo, the Lumber Jack tries to drink his beer finding his pointed stick for a nose getting the way before deciding to use it like a straw.

  Devil Doll smiles and sings,

 "Oh, I am just your darling dancing gal,
  Swishing on the stage for you to...enjooy,
 Oh I am just your darling dancing gal,
 You can look boys, but, you, touch,
 This little gal may look so precious, but she's packing a slap for you boys,"

 She pauses and swishes a bit faster,

 "But treat this gal right and you're in for a treat boys,
  Because this gal don't want a boy but a re..re..aall man fellas,
 Or a lady with some class and real nice rack fellas,"

  The cartoon men laugh and a few of the ladies blush,

  "Oh you hear me singing like a siren fellas,
  You want to tap your feet and sing along,
  Follow me fellas, and you will soon sink
 into
my
song fellas,
Just keeping humming, tapping, and...."


She pauses and looks at the door, her shark eyes furrow her ink stripe eyebrows,

She starts to swish her dress again, "Oh, you heard what I said, I am your dancing darling de-vil, lighting up the stage with my smi'el, you can't help but have to resist my charms,"

  She dips down tracing her frame with her claw like hands,

  "You can look but don't you touch,
   This gal prefers a lady's touch,
   Someone to treat me right,
  Keep up with me all night,"

  She stops and looks at the door,

  She puts her hands on her hips and taps her foot, "What is that pompous hack waiting for me to do a strip tease? His character is a cliche for crying out loud."

 She stomps off the stage, most the audience turning into flat cardboard cut-outs and falling over, the piano hippo morphs into a heavy set human man with a ghostly chain around his ankle phasing into the floor, the two Lumber Jacks watch as she passes, anyone else left in the audience shifts from cartoon animals to anthropomorphic real looking animal people *werewolves, cat-girls, dog men, a minotaur and a minotauress.

  Devil Doll goes outside into the empty town and leaps into the air almost a hundred feet, "Hey jack ass you missed your cue! We're trying to make a legitimate old timey cartoon here!"

  *He walked off set*

  Devil Doll looks surprised and floats down to a roof top.

  "What?" says Devil Doll her finger tips her lips.

  *Apparently Change-O refuses to play the part of a Cracker Jack if it is acting out of character*

   "All Cracker Jacks do is walk, fight, and explode!" shouts Devil Doll fists clinched, "Fine, who needs that pompous hack, he just doesn't want to get blown up I bet."

  She nods with her arms crossed tapping her foot, "Uh-huh, the script calls for me to be grabbed up all King Kong like, smooth talk him, and blow my flaming kiss at that wick thingy on his head and skip off as he frantically fails to stop himself from exploding, to the applause of the town. Its such a simple, easy role."

  "We are demons!" shouts a peach colored faceless man in a suit wearing a top hat, his hands are like mittens made of featurless skin. The shape of his head alone is more like a dropplet than a proper human head.

  "And out of costume," huffs Devil Doll.

  "Who are we even tormenting with this bit?" asks Change-O, "Surely not that guy you have chained to the piano in there, everything else is either a Mystic Monster you summoned, an illussion, or a demon. The only soul bodies around here are way across the river, this town is brand new, did...did you build it just to put on this skit?"

  He seems to be partially asking her and the sky.

  "Catch," Devil Doll turns and tosses a little black bomb at Chang-O who catches it in his hands, the fuse is lit, and he tries to toss it away, but like a black slime coating it is stuck to his hands.

 He runs around frantically until Devil Doll produces a baseball bat and smacks the bomb, sending it and Change-O flying through the air to explode high above the ground. Below a crowd of cartoon animal people come out of the buildings cheering and applauding.

  She tosses the bat away and it vanishes in black smoke in the air.

  Devil Doll stands on the edge of the building swishing her dress and striking a pose, "You can look but don't you touch!"

  Among the crowd a heavy set hippo tries to sneak away during the commotion only for two lions dressed like old timey police to stop him with a gruff, "where do you think you're going, when this demon lord is done with her fun its back to the cell with you."